Mother and Father left us last week. I knew something suspicious was happening when they brought out the suitcases. Never a good sign. They kept babbling about going to “The Happiest Place On Earth”, which I had previously ASSUMED was here, when they were with me. But now I know where their hearts truly lie. Then, Saturday morning, they LEFT us. Put me in the bedroom with the door shut, instead of leaving me freely roaming as I am normally allowed to do in my own home. Not. Okay.
So I decided to take action.
I figured I could dig my way out of the room. If Andy Dufresne could do it with a damn miniature hammer, then this canine surely could find the way out of my prison. Perhaps I could find parents who would appreciate the love and unlimited kisses I had to offer. After probing my surroundings, I determined that the weakest spot was also the most obvious: the doorway.
A layer of carpet sat under the doorway. Naturally, I surmised that if I could remove this carpet obstacle, I could find a way under the door. Carpet is usually what, 2 feet deep in these houses? I used my mighty paws and my vicious fangs to begin hollowing out the space. I was making some quick progress when I heard someone enter the house. Someone not being Mom or Dad. I furiously continued to burrow through the carpet, shredding the fibers with my teeth and growling in anticipation of release. I felt like I was almost there. Footsteps were coming closer & closer. When the door opened, I was able to see the extent of my progress.
You can call me Shredder.
After Dad’s friend picked the carpet remnants from my teeth, I heard him on the phone with Dad. I think I heard crying, and something about a security deposit. Totally worth it.
For the rest of the week, I was free to roam the lower level of my home. Escape plan: Success.